There’s a first time for everything
Posted on Thursday 17th September 2009
Though I’d be happy to go my entire life without experiencing some things. Tonight was one of those, as I got pulled over by the police at a “Breatho” (Random Breath Alcohol Testing Station for the non-Australians).
It starts with seeing some police cars parked by the side of the road. So you think “OK, they’ve just pulled someone over for speeding”. When you get closer a cop steps into the road and ushers you into a special coned area like one of those marshals at the airport who direct planes with the lighted beacons. Once you’ve stopped and lowered your window he leans in and “Hello, sir”.
You always know it’s going to be bad when they call you “Sir”. I think I’d have felt safer with “Hey there, scumbag”. Then he asked whether I knew what the speed limit was near emergency vehicles with blue lights on was. Complete ignorance, so my brain said “Sorry officer, I learnt to drive in the UK, am a visitor in South Australia and am not familiar with all the local road rules”. Unfortunately my mouth let me down and instead, I did a passable impression of Ken Pile. By this point the cop probably thought I was bang-to-rights, so all I got in return was “Breathe into this tube until I tell you to stop”.
I could almost see the look of disappointment wash across his face as he looked at the screen, which presumably said 0.00, not detected or something similar. So, with the wind out of his sails, I just got a short lecture on what the correct speed past emergency vehicles is – it’s 40kph in case you’re interested. Then I was released and made it home.
Interesting how even though I knew I was stone cold sober, having just come from the gym, I still felt as guilty as Arnold Rimmer, and it clearly shows. The worrying thing is I thought I had a good poker face. A little work is in order based on tonight’s performance.
I didnt know about this! Thank you
LOL – did they check your REG-O at the same time? I loved the reference to Rimmer, can remember the specific episode and everything “Alphabetti Spaghetti?” Kryten – “I feel so…..” Rimmer (aka Polymorph at this point “GUUUUUIIIILLLTTTTYYYY???”
Aw…know the feeling!